Atahualpa help header and menu tabs

New to Atahualpa...used to the free wordpress themes where I didn't need to know "code" to change headers and menus.

I have specific look in mind and I've seen it on blogs I follow but I have no clue how to get mine to look that way.

I can't even figure out how to get my "title" so to speak to show let alone change the background color...I'm truly frustrated with all of this.

Is anyone willing to take me step by step how to set it up right? Right now I have the default header pics but no horizontal line of tabs on the top or bottom around the header like it is on the BytesForAll blog page http://wordpress.bytesforall.com/

I'm using version 3.7.7 and I would like it to look like Mia's. http://www.onthewingphotography.com/wings/
I've asked for her help but I know she is real busy and may not understand what I'm asking. Of course I don't want it to look exactly like I just want to know how to get the basics of it so that I can tweak it to my own personality and needs.