Ok after reading this again - is this what you want
You have several categories :Books, Toys, Clothes
you want to have sub-categories under each
books->fiction, nonfiction, biography
toys->board games, card games, sports
clothing->mens, womens, children
now what you want in the sidebar is three sections
BOOKS <- NOT a link
fiction <- link
nonfiction <- link
biography <- link
TOYS <- NOT a link
board games <- link
card games <- link
sports <- link
CLOTHING <- NOT a link
mens <- link
womens <- link
children <- link
Here is how you can do this
1) get and activate exec-php plugin (
http://bluesome.net/post/2005/08/18/50/)
2) setup your categories and subcategoried
3) get the ID of each parent category (dashboard->Posts->Categories->Edit then look at the HTML address in the BROWSER window - the last part is '..&cat_ID=4' - in this case '4' is the ID of this category
4) Add a text widget for each parent category and make the title the name of the parent (i.e 'BOOKS', 'TOYS', "CLOTHING'
5) add the following code to the 'text' part of the widget making sure the number matches the parent category ID
HTML Code:
<?php echo wp_list_cats('child_of=4'); ?>
That should do it...if this is what you want.