Menu bar not aligning & other woes

Currently I'm having issues with my menu bar - it seems there's a border around the page names so these tabs are not sitting flush with the background.

See here: http://cswphotography.com.au/blog.

How do I get my menu items sitting neatly?

Secondly, the items seem really bunched up. How do I get the width of the menu bar items to have some padding either side of the text?

Third thing, I want my menu to look like this menu: http://www.foxpitteventing.co.uk/ any thoughts on how?

Thanks heaps.