In v.3.4.2 neither the Index or the Header PHP resembles what is being referenced to edit.

Has anyone figured out how to accomplish the splash page?

Just a thought, all you splash page folks: a lof of people HATE them. If I'm coming to your site, I do not want to first have to "break through" a splash page, no matter how artistic, to get where I'm going. Just my opinion, of course, and it's worth what you paid for it.;)

Under some circumstances splash pages serve a purpose.

I am trying to get a splash page set up on version 3.4.9 What's it going to take? Do I need to donate a certain amount?

And yes, I get it, some people hate splash pages. Nevertheless, I need to set one up and if I can't do it this way, then I'm going to need to abandon Wordpress for the site's static pages and use it only for the blog, which I don't want to do.

Flynn or anyone, please help? The theme is awesome, I use it for all my sites and would like to keep its functionality for the site I'm working on now.

Well there is a write up on how to create a simple splash page in the Gold Forum tutorials.